Monday, May 21, 2012

Do You Have "Yes" itis? Admitting to it is the First Step

Well do you have it? Unfortunately, I do. (Me standing with right hand raised.) My name is Michelle Hawkins and I am a Yes'alohic. Smile. You know what I'm talking about, especially if you are Mommy. The need to do everything, take on any challenge, not say no to anyone.

This all goes back to our (women's) need to please. We are socialized from the crib this way. So you have you put a lot of conscious effort into saying no. Saying no is a relearning process. For many of us saying no is a defense mechanism. Everyone becomes so accustom to you saying yes and taking on absurd tasks, that they don't even try to do the job, just dump it on Madam's lap. She's a superwoman after all. That term superwoman drives me batty. I remember during the 70(?) this commercial about the woman bringing home the bacon and here it is

 I HATED this commercial with a passion growing up. Which is probably why I was so long putting off marriage. This was playing in the back of my head. My thoughts even at this age were, "If I have to do all this, What is left for my husband to do?" Yet I still got Yesitis. Subliminal superwoman training.

Fast forward to today and we have the Times cover with this nonsense headline. This is offensive to every nursing Mother and pure BS.
Now its gone from subliminal to slap in the face. So if you don't up your kid in public until they tire then,"You're not Mommy enough?"
Then these fruit loops wonder why so women don't want to get on the Mommy track. These are all the games perpetuated on American women (can't speak for other countries) to further enforce the super woman foolishness. Now there are individual woman and organizations devoted to this super woman nonsense.

Which explains why Yesitis has begun reaching epidemic proportions in American and women are showing the accompanying ailments that go with it. Autoimmune illness like Lupus, arthritis and cancer are are all stress related illness. Rates of women with these ailments are going through the roof. 

We can not leap off a tall building with a single bound, fly off into the sunset (unless you're on on a plane). There is an unrealistic standard being imposed on women which to me is an attempt to take the clock back a hundred years. We then fall right in line with this foolish when we practice Yesitis. 

You do not have to "DO IT ALL". You do not have to buy into Yesitis. Guess what, if you drop dead from stress the world will continue turning.You have a right to a life and time to kick your feet up and do absolutely NOTHING. .

So raise your right hand and say,"My name is _____________ and I am a Yesaholic. Then take the steps to reclaim you.

Weigh in and share your your thoughts on this subject. Stepping off my soapbox.




  1. Michelle,
    This post rocked! So many women, myself included, try to be all things to all people at times. That magazine cover bothered me too and gosh, I'm not even a mom. In my studies about self-care and healing, I learned that feminine energies are really receptive...male energies are the giving ones. So, there is balance needed within and without. It's not always easy, and I am not sure I believe in balance any more. But, I have learned to say 'no' more and also, been better about allowing my hubby to help me around the house and in other areas. Thanks for the reminders :)

  2. Freedom of speech is an undeniable and unalienable right -- but, oh!, people are SO much abusing it!

    Everybody is ready to blurt out any unsubstantiated claim, just to say something or just because it will perhaps raise readability numbers!

  3. Thanks for sharing Lisa. Helene its seems that just to be in the conversation people with make the wildset statements with not a mustard seed of a fact to support the staement. The world is getting crazier and crazier